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The sales of Christmas jumpers have, well, jumped this year.
Debenhams has seen a 200 per cent increase from last year as everyone throws themselves into the spirit of the season by donning the tackiest jumper they can find.
There’s something joyous about the willingness to look utterly ridiculous just to express your love of a certain time of year. No-one wears a Christmas jumper to look good.
And if that’s what you’re aiming for, then you’re doing it wrong.
Christmas jumpers are all about comfort.
They’re cosy at the time when being cosy is still an achievable goal, unlike when you’re being doused in freezing rain in February.
They’re baggy enough to hide that mince pie belly you’re cultivating.
But that’s always been true of Christmas jumpers, so why the sudden surge in popularity this year?
More and more shops have been stocking them, increasing their visibility on the high street and worming their way into your subconscious desires.
Social media is no doubt doing its part too, as people share photos of their new snowman jumper.
It gets to the point where it looks like everyone has a Christmas jumper but you.
There’s one simple solution to that disaster – better buy a Christmas jumper.
And that’s how we get into the sweater arms race we’re currently locked in.
Not only do you need a Christmas jumper, but you need a Christmas jumper that knocks all your mates’ jumpers into a cocked Santa hat.
It needs to be EVEN MORE glittery. It needs to be at least TWICE AS BIG as everyone else’s. It needs pompoms.
You even start to think that bells might be a good idea.
The demand has been created, and online and high street shops have nobly risen to the occasion.
You can even buy a Christmas jumper that two people can wear AT ONCE.
Perhaps increasingly informal office wear has contributed to the world domination of the Chrimbo jumper – they are no longer limited to weekend-wear. Once December begins, anything goes.
You can definitely get away with sitting at your desk dressed like a human Christmas tree.
There’s even an entire day dedicated to the cult of the Christmas jumper – December 12 has been set aside by Save The Children so that we can raise money for a good cause while indulging our love of chunky knitwear.
And as more people buy the jumpers, more articles like this appear, and the readers who haven’t already converted to the cause begin to feel the pull of temptation.
I flipping love Christmas.