How to break up with someone without feeling guilty

November 21, 2014 admin No comments

‘Yeah, sure I’ll call you’ (Picture: vadimguzhva)

Deciding to end a relationship can be tough – and whilst being dumped is indisputably hard, doing the dumping can be equally as difficult.

In an ideal world the best way to call time on a relationship is to do it face to face. However, in a world which isn’t always ideal, an adult conversation about ending a relationship can sometimes feel like telling your boss you’ve booked a week in Ibiza three days into a new job.

I think the best way to end a relationship depends very much on the length of time you have spent with that person.

Why, I would no sooner sit down with someone I had slept with twice, for a four hour deep and meaningful, as I would end a 10-year marriage with a text – both being inappropriate given their contexts.

After one night

Fancy yourself as a bit of a coward with the complete inability to have a mature conversation with someone you’ve shared bodily fluids with? Fear not, stone cold silence will suffice.

It’s brutal, but let’s not kid ourselves – after one night, you owe each other nothing. Disappearing off the face of the earth wraps up a brief fling nicely without any need for extended navel gazing or ‘when will I see you again?’ conversations.

Head-in-sand burying at its very best. Just don’t be pissed off when it happens to you.

After one week

After a week of contact a short text is fair. Call it the ‘band aid’ method – short, sharp and momentarily painful, but does the job efficiently and aids speedy recovery.

Should you have been foolish enough to add the ‘soon to be dumped’ on social media, de-friend them immediately and consider at what haste you expand your online network in the future.

After one month

A phone call is ample. Useful phrases include – It’s not you it’s me, you deserve better and I’ll never make you happy.’

Make the phone call polite, definite and not in a busy pub. Nothing destroys the soul quite like being dumped with ‘Let’s get the party started’ playing in the background.

Have a calm and rational conversation. (Picture: 4774344sean)

After at least one year 

Face to face is, according to ‘ideal world’ handbook, the only way to dignify a relationship breakup at this stage.

Sit your partner down, be calm, be rational. Explain how you feel that you are on different paths but that you have a great deal of respect for them and wish them a happy future with someone who’ll fulfil their needs better than you can.

Then get drunk and limbered up for one last farewell shag. OK, so I added the last bit but hey, anything to soften the blow, right?

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