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Obviously I am taking this straight out of my world and my experiences, but I do think there are a lot of perks to being a gay lady in these times.
And there was actually way too much to put in this list. So to this top 10, add, being with a woman, how girls are amazing, and boobs. And then add boobs again.
1. The prides
It’s a rule to attend as many prides as you can physically get to. Your summers get booked up with rainbow madness and dressing up in glitter madness. And you get to look around like a proud parent thinking ‘Yes, we did this.’
Also you get to drink before noon in the middle of the street without judgment and it is just the cherry on top of the sundae of awesome that is Gay Pride.
2. All the stuff
OK, it doesn’t work for everyone. But all I know is that I never have to buy converse, T-shirts or expensive toothpaste because I can just shop at my girlfriend’s wardrobe. Or sink.
It is also quite useful to have a vast supply of tampons and wine in the house at all times.
3. The sex
There are too many things in this category to spell out. But let’s just go with ‘no one needs to wait at least half an hour to continue’ as the main one.
4. Not having to worry about getting pregnant
And after all that sex, there is no need to panic if you’re five days late. It’s an inconvenience because you’ll probably be so premenstrual you could set the next person that annoys you on fire, but it’s nowhere near as inconvenient as an egg taking up a nine month lease in your womb.
5. The celebrities
We feel a certain sense of closeness with celebrities if they’re on the same swing as us. Even KD Lang is part of our household and I couldn’t name you even one of her songs. Still love her though.
6. When celebrities come out
When a celebrity comes out of the closet, you get to feel proud. And you give that know it all smile that all other gay girls can read.
Ellen Paige? We knew years ago when we saw the shoes she wore to the premier of Juno. SO obvious.
7. The TV
When most people hear the The L Word they think of the word Love. Not when you’re in our gang. The instant picture of Shane or Bette comes into your head and you get very distracted and forget what you were even talking about.
And of course Orange Is The New Black IS the new black. Oh you like our show? It’s good isn’t it. It’s got lesbians in it.
8. The community
It’s quite nice to go out and know that you’ll see one of your friends. And you get to know a lot of people, all of whom you have something in common with. Usually the KD Lang thing.
9. Everyone does their fair share of the housework
It’s not like it was back in the day where the man went out to work with his hat and briefcase and the woman stayed home to breast feed cakes and bake children. But a lot of straight friends of mine still complain that their boyfriend doesn’t help out around the home.
I still have roles with my girlfriend. It is an unspoken rule that she will always take out the bins because the smell makes me want to throw up my internal organs. Same goes for me when there’s a spider in the house; I will gingerly pick it up and then very carefully burn the house down.
10. No yucky boys
I’m not saying girls are completely devoid of disgusting bits, but from past experiences, boys are definitely worse.
I just like that there is no stubble to contend with or sides of the bed you have to avoid.